COLD WINTER  LAKE

Cold Winter Lake is the pen name under which I explore the quiet, raw edges of human experience through poetry.

Cold — emotional distance /detachment

Winter — my birth month, December

Lake — calming contemplation

There is a winter lake. It begs for me to just dip my toes into the freezing water, and so I do.

My eyes shut as a I feel the burn rush across my entire body. My mind transports to an alternate world, where everything is just okay.

I don’t feel pain, I don’t feel sadness, I don’t feel happiness, I feel just okay.

It lets me breathe, being in this state of neutral chaos. Not too manic, not too depressed - just okay.

I look around and I see flowers blooming in beds of icy snow. Deers prance through the woods, dancing away from wolves who stalk in awe of this creature.

Red berries grow on winter leaves, a baby bird stops for a taste but her wings crush in the mouth of a striking viper. An envious little thing, envious of flight.

As am I, envious of flight. To ascend to a higher realm that none of you may ever reach. One that is just my own, perhaps one I’ll share with a lover and a child one day.

I see a woman embraced by her lover, the lovers hand on her womb. Both with long black hair, one with flowers, the other with sticks. She’s cold, her lover takes their own blouse off their chest and wraps it around the woman.

A lover, cold and embraced.

My eyes open, the lake lays still miles behind me. I’ve walked myself to the edge of a cliff.

There is a warm summer sea. It begs for me to plunge myself into the warm abyss, it begs for me to fall.

But I am not ready yet, so I take a final breath - a final look at this warm summer sea. I turn my back to it’s healing warmth and I begin my journey back to the comfort of my cold winter lake.

Currently, you can find the rest of my poetry on my instagram page @cold.winter.lake